Mental health struggles can affect anyone, including parents and children. Warning signs aren't always easy to recognize, and sometimes there may be no obvious signs at all.
Here, former Macaroni KID publisher Nicole Zawidski shares her personal experience with anxiety and depression, the symptoms she struggled with, and the steps she took to get help. Whether you're struggling yourself or concerned about your partner, child, friend or another family member, read on for information about what to look for and where to find help.
Nicole's story
I'm like any other woman in many ways - I'm a wife and a mother of two who juggles a full-time teaching job with a part-time gig - in my case, being a Macaroni KID publisher. In between, I volunteer in my community and make time for a small group of friends who mean the world to me.
But in other ways, I'll never be "normal." That's because I have a mental illness. Though, as I've also come to learn, that fact shouldn't make me feel any less ‘normal." After all, according to 2017 data, 46.6 million American adults - nearly one out of five - live with a mental illness.
Mental illness comes in many forms. Mine comes in the form of severe anxiety and high-functioning depression.
I was diagnosed after seeking out help because I was reaching a crisis point. I got to the point where I would just stay in bed and cry on some days. I found myself avoiding friends and social events. I was having stomach issues at work. My mood swings were out of control.
I'd dealt with versions of these issues my entire life, but after the birth of my children, I felt like life was spiraling out of control.
I could still get up and go to work. I loved my kids with all my heart.
But I was so sad. I couldn't figure out why I was feeling that way, and why my mood could change at the drop of a hat.
I felt alone. I was upset because I felt like I had no friends, yet I had no desire to talk to them or do anything with them.
Weekends were my chance to cry. My husband would spend time with the kids and I would stay in bed, feeling like my world was crashing down on me.
Finding positive strategies
My therapist gave me strategies to manage my feelings, like keeping daily affirmations in my purse so I could repeat positive thoughts when I was feeling down.
She also urged me to start exercising. I joined a walking group for accountability and it gave me a chance to talk to other women and share our tough wife / mother / work stories. I've found that talking helps. Walking helps.
I also decided that for me to manage my illness best, I wasn't going to hide it. There is such a stigma around mental illness, especially moms with mental illness. I decided I wanted to be open about my journey because I shouldn't be ashamed of it.
By treating my mental illness, I have given myself - and my family - a gift. I am one of the 46.6 million, and every one of us is worth saving.
What to look for
We all have bad days, and we all get sad. But if your bad days begin to outnumber the good, or feelings of sadness and despair become more frequent and overwhelming, it may be a sign that it’s time to talk to someone and consider getting help.
When looking out for those around you, pay attention not only to what they say but also to what they don’t say. If your partner, spouse, parent, child, friend, or another family member seems withdrawn or different from their usual self, let them know you’re there for them. Sometimes they just need someone to listen. If you’re concerned that something more serious is going on, share your concerns and help them find support.
Mental health struggles can look different from person to person. Children, in particular, may have difficulty identifying or expressing their thoughts and emotions, so changes in their behavior can be important signs that something is wrong.
Signs Someone May Be Struggling
Everyone experiences difficult emotions from time to time. What matters is whether changes persist, become more intense, or begin to interfere with everyday life. Signs to watch for include:
- Persistent sadness, worry, fear, irritability, or anger
- Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities they once enjoyed
- Changes in sleep, appetite, energy, or concentration
- Difficulty at school, work, or with everyday responsibilities
- Unusual changes in behavior, mood, or relationships
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Frequent physical complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches, without an obvious explanation
- Expressing hopelessness or talking about suicide
Signs to Watch for in Children, Tweens and Teens
We sometimes forget that being a kid is hard. What may seem minor to us can feel overwhelming to them. Some children have a harder time managing their emotions, and changes such as a new teacher or school can add to their anxiety. The tween and teen years can be especially challenging, too.
Remind your kids that you're there for them, and ask open-ended questions to encourage them to talk. Don't wait until they're struggling to start these conversations. Keep the lines of communication open so they're more likely to come to you when they need support.
In addition to the signs above, children and teens may show distress through changes such as:
- A drop in school performance or difficulty concentrating
- Complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or not feeling well
- Less interest in friends or favorite activities
- Excessive worry or anxiety, including refusing to go to school or struggling at bedtime
- Increased hyperactivity, aggression, or disobedience
- Frequent nightmares or recurring sleep difficulties
- More frequent or intense temper tantrums
These signs don't automatically mean someone has a mental health condition, but persistent or concerning changes are worth discussing with a healthcare professional.
If you’re concerned that you or a family member may be struggling with mental health, reach out to your health insurance provider, primary care doctor, or local mental health agency to explore options for support.
Need Mental Health Support?
Call or text 988: The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides free, confidential support 24/7 for people experiencing emotional distress or a mental health crisis, as well as their loved ones.
NAMI HelpLine: Call 1-800-950-6264, text “NAMI” to 62640 for mental health information and support. Available Monday–Friday, 10 am - 10 pm ET - closed on federal holidays.
Local Mental Health Resources
Ventura County
- Interface of Ventura County: dial 2-1-1 or call 800-399-9597
- National Alliance on Mental Illness - NAMI Ventura County: Providing advocacy, support, education and resources for individuals and families affected by mental illness | Helpline: 805-500-6264 | Resources and Crisis Information | Classes and Programs | Calendar of Events
- Ventura County Health Care Agency
- Ventura County Behavioral Health: The Ventura County Behavioral Health Department - VCBH, provides mental health and substance use treatment services | Youth and Family | Adult Services | 24/7 Confidential help; Crisis and Referral Line: 866-998-2243 | Substance Use Treatment Access Line: 844-385-9200 | Foster Youth Hotline 833-939-3877 | Suicide and Crisis Lifeline call 988
Los Angeles County
- National Alliance on Mental Illness, Greater Los Angeles County - NAMI GLAC: Providing advocacy, support, education and resources for individuals and families affected by mental illness | Immediate help in crisis: call 988 | CalHOPE Warmline at 818-208-1801
- National Alliance on Mental Illness, Urban Los Angeles - NAMI
- National Alliance on Mental Illness, San Fernando Valley - NAMI: Providing advocacy, support, education and resources for individuals and families affected by mental illness | Helpline: 818-994-6747
- Health Services Los Angeles County - Mental Health: General Information
844-804-0055 | 24/7 helpline: 800-854-7771 or text 741741 - Mental Health American of Los Angeles: Works to ensure people with mental health needs achieve meaningful, healthy lives, serving low-income adults and transition-age youth, Veterans and people experiencing homelessness | 888-242-2522
- 211 LA - Mental Health Resources: Dial 2-1-1
This previously published article has been updated by Macaroni KID Conejo Valley - Malibu - Calabasas
